Blog About It: Decisions

What’s the point of spending four plus years of my life and spending thousands upon thousands of dollars to go to an institution that I relish the thought of attending? There isn’t one; unlike high school I’m not required, nor am I forced to stay at a place I don’t find pleasurable to be at. Realizing that I can relocate myself, experience a whole new culture, and discover a new side of myself that I possibly won’t find here puts a smile in my heart and multitudes of possibilities begin dancing in my head.

There’s no time like the present so why not take advantage of it? There’s no need to be miserable or sad, so do anything in your power to make it happen.

Presently, I’m feeling a bit blue and I am trying to change that but I’m almost running on empty. You may ask, “Why would a college student be feeling blue? They should be having the time of their life, I mean they’re in college.”

Well within that short sentence lies your answer, I’m currently at a college where I feel as though I may not belong. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike everything or feel like I don’t belong everywhere, but those people and places consist of only a small group, and the dislikes are greatly outweighing the likes.

Dont belong here picture:

I am trying to find my place here at McPherson, but I’m getting tired of searching.

Moving from Colorado to Kansas seemed like a grand adventure I was ready to take. Joining a community of people I hadn’t a clue who they were sounded exciting.

Something that may have crossed your mind is, “Why did she even move to Kansas?”

Wheat Picture:

I came to Kansas to see if there was still a fire burning for a passion I once had growing up; my passion for soccer. I thought I lost it my junior year of high school, so I wanted to see if playing in college would reignite that fire. Honestly I can say as of right now, that that fire is but a smolder and I’m ready to put it out.

Smoldering Fire:

Telling my parents I didn’t wish to play soccer anymore and that I wanted to transfer schools was hard, but I needed to do it. I didn’t want to have to put up with being somewhere I didn’t like, which is what I did in high school. They were saddened that their daughter wouldn’t be playing anymore, but being the good parents that they are, agreed with my wishes and support my decision to switch.

I may only be giving this college a try for a semester but when you think about it, when you know, you know; there’s no changing that feeling.

This college has no use for me anymore, and I just want to get out go reinvent myself somewhere else, find a new passion, stoke that fire, and do something with my life.

“Usually when you ask somebody in college why they are there, they’ll tell you it’s to get an education. The truth of it is, they are there to get the degree so that they can get ahead in the rat race.” – Abbie Hoffman.


Abbie Hoffman:


5 thoughts on “Blog About It: Decisions

  1. Hey Courtney!
    Your blog really hit home with me. I’m having some of the same feelings that you are experiencing. I’m trying to decide how I feel about everything here at McPherson also. Sometimes it does get a bit tiring trying to fit into a place where you feel you don’t. I really liked your ending quote, I think it accurately sums up how I, and many others, feel about college.

    Thanks for sharing!:)

    C. Payne

    • C.Payne,
      Thanks for the post/ review! I’m honestly glad I’m not the only one who is going through this, so thank you. Everyone goes to college hoping for a new adventure, and I don’t want mine to be boring. We definitely can talk about this in person sometime if you’re up for it!

      -Courtney F

  2. Courtney,
    I really liked how you started your blog, it is really a question to think about. A person needs to be at a college that they enjoy being at everyday! I also love how just because you don’t like it here you are thinking about choosing to explore different options. I hope that you find a place that you can call home next semester!

    -Paige Phillips

    • Paige,
      Thanks for taking the time to read my blog! It’s good to know that I have a friend who supports my decision. Everyone should know that just because you don’t something, it doesn’t mean you have to be stuck with it for 4 years or for the rest of your life. You just have to have to the guts to change it and to change your life.


  3. Hey Courtney!
    I really enjoyed reading this. I also question staying here or if I like it here, or even just being happy here in general. It could just be though because its our first year but I can definitely relate to this. Just do what makes you happy! In the end your the only there for yourself!

    Willie Sue

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