Have you ever had something happen that’s changed your life dramatically? Something that made the way you lived change entirely? Even the way I viewed the men in my life took a plunder. Divorce affects every aspect of a person’s life.
My parents got divorced when I was 17. It was totally out of nowhere and seemed unthinkable. There was no fighting or any disruptions in the way we went about things. It all happened very suddenly. Even my mother didn’t see it coming.
The morning after getting my wisdom teeth out I woke up to be greeted by my father in the living room. He told me he was leaving and that it had nothing to do with me; that it wasn’t my fault. Then he gathered his things and left. I acted as though nothing had happened. The realization of him leaving didn’t really sink in until about a month later.
I always got along better with my dad and after he left I stopped seeing him almost all together. That crushed me. He was the one I always turned to and wanted to be around. He doesn’t’ even speak to my brother anymore. I started feeling depressed and dressing different. He wasn’t the person I remembered and loved. His actions had an immense impact on how I started to view the men in my life.
I became more aware of sexism and inequality in the media and life in general. I would read into things that weren’t supposed to be read into. I started to believe that all men were the same and nothing would change.
I would go around getting defensive about what anyone would say and turning it into a battle about sexism. It took me awhile to realize I was being extreme and needed to tone it down a bit. I was pushing away the people I loved; they would always ask me why I had to twist everything into a fight about sexism.
I was getting so out of things I had to go to therapy. It took me a long time to open up but once I did it really helped me move on.
Currently, I’ve been more relaxed with my feminist attitude. I’ve realized that everyone thinks differently and I should let them think what they want without turning it into a fight about genders. I try to only speak up in certain situations were it would benefit the conversation.
Divorce isn’t pretty. It changed the person who I was. I’m back on track to some normalcy but not everything will return to it’s former state; which isn’t always bad.
What were some of your life changing events?